Home » 8 Reasons Why a Man Says No to Sex (And What to Do About It)

8 Reasons Why a Man Says No to Sex (And What to Do About It)

by Grace Sianna
not in the mood for sex

Men are believed to be huge fans of sex. Whenever they have an opportunity, they’ll grab it and get wild in steamy sex. Yet, there are times when a man simply says no. He declines sex for a lot of reasons, from stress at work to low libido. This leaves a woman or a wife baffled. The number one thing that goes on inside a woman’s head when her partner no longer makes a move is that she’s no longer sexually attractive to him, which can be self-destructive for her.

If you don’t feel like having sex with your partner or wife, it would be for the following reasons below. Whatever your reason is, be honest with your partner or wife. Tell her how exactly you feel to settle the matter first and foremost. Remember, communication is key to having a lasting and loving relationship.

1. Low levels of testosterone

Higher levels of testosterone mean great sex. Low levels mean the opposite. Testosterone is a male sex hormone that helps in erection or sex drive. Levels of testosterone are higher after a restorative sleep while it’s lower when a man is exposed to stress and other serious health issues.

No matter how you desire to have good sex when your T levels are low, you’d be deemed to have less than firm erections. Having this problem can be frustrating. But don’t take it against yourself. Underlying health conditions can be the reason why you have a low sex drive. Talk with your partner about it and consult with a health professional.

2. Loss of attraction

This can be devastating for your partner, but losing sexual interest in your partner does happen. Sex experts reveal three causes for loss of attraction:

TV over womanFirst, is not getting along well with each other. Your partner might have a nagging tendency that pushes you beyond your limits. You might be a patient and understanding partner who just awaken one day and found that the attraction is no longer there.

Second, as a psychological defense. You feel you need space from your partner. To set a boundary between you and your partner, you shy away from sex.

Third, narcissistic tendencies. We all have a bit of this quality. But there are some who go over the line and think that attraction should go with physical attributes. Once your partner loses her physical attractiveness, it can be an issue for your ego, which will eventually lead to losing your interest in her.

3. Feeling not good enough

Great sex adds spice to a relationship. It’s what all of us want. But if you feel that’s all there is to a relationship, you’re doomed. The desire to please your partner might be so great it causes you performance anxiety. The fears of not doing enough or not getting stronger erections could cripple you. And most often, what you fear to happen is what will actually happen.

The disappointment may lead you to stay away from the bedroom. Letting your partner know about this problem is a good idea. If she cares for you, she will understand and will go her way to help you manage your fears and insecurities.

4. Boredom

As a man, you’re wired for sex. It’s how the creator designed you to be. Even a slight visual stimulation can get you aroused. When your partner fails to understand this, it can be frustrating to you. You get hurt every time she says no. The rejection can run deep until you yourself no longer desire for sex with your partner.

This is a gap that can hurt your relationship if you will not do anything about it. Moving away from each other without coming to terms with what’s eating away your relationship can destroy it. Speak to your partner if you still care for her and the relationship to avoid stretching the gap further.

5. Autoeroticism

At times, you feel you don’t need a partner to fulfill your sexual urges. Doing it alone, on your own, is enough for you. Whether you engage in fantasy while doing the act or inspired by a sexual love unto yourself, you get the same fulfillment the way you get with a partnered sex.

This also happens when you constantly watch porn. You feel you’re able to satisfy your fantasy in simple and uncomplicated sex. While a lot of things can trigger you to have self-sufficient sex, you need to reconsider when you do it often. A lot of controversies go along with autoeroticism. If you find yourself an autosexual, you may not need a partner.

But if a partnered sex still excites you, your self-sufficiency might only be in passing. All you need might be to spice things up to get excited again in having sex with your partner.

6. Erectile problems

Problems surrounding erection include erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, and premature ejaculation. ED can be resolved by having an appointment with your health professional since it’s often caused by underlying health issues.

wife comforts husband with EDDelayed ejaculation can also be caused by medical reasons such as infection, injury, or surgery. Premature ejaculation happens when a guy experiences psychological issues, like stress, depression, or performance anxiety.

Whenever you have one of these erectile issues, talk to your partner about it. Ask for her support for you to solve it as a team. She would be more than willing to help you if she truly cares for you.

7. Depressive feelings

When the feelings of depression come upon you, you lost interest in everything including sex. Medication that treats depression can also lower your sex drive, making you lose more interest in sex. Again, communication is key when dealing with depressive episodes.

8. Your partner is depressed

Similarly, when your partner is the one dealing with depression issues, she’ll feel the same way. She would stop having sex with you due to a loss in sexual interest. As a result, you would lose interest in sex as well.

This is a challenging time that can only be overcome when the two of you work hand in hand to hurdle over this problem. When your bond is strong, depression can’t stop you to get yourself or herself back on her feet again. Healing may take time but it will happen until you get back to the bedroom to enjoy hot sex once again.

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