High-powered businessman, top-of-the-corporate-ladder honchos. We know these people who run multibillion-dollar companies, are serial entrepreneurs and exert so much self-discipline it’s astonishing. You may think their brilliant and well-sculpted competence, dominance, and decision-making would extend to the bedroom, but this is farther from the truth than you would think. According to a paper published in the Social Psychological and Personality Science journal, high-ranking men lean more towards the submissive side of the Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) lifestyle. This study looked at 14,000 men and women, their occupations, and whether they fantasized about being dominant or submissive in the bedroom. Powerful decision-making women leaned towards dominance while men favored submissiveness. Being told what to do and how to do it was a big fantasy of theirs. But, why is that? Here are seven reasons.
#1 LACK OF CONTROL
Many times, BDSM is more about psychological rather than sexual relief, and this can be achieved in the submissive role. Men in high-powered positions spend most of their waking day making decisions, taking responsibility, and recovering from failures that may not be directly in their control. They may fantasize about shedding all of these responsibilities, losing control, and just enjoying the moment. Through the lack of control, they can hand over all of the duties to their dominant. With BDSM, they can choose which fantasy they want to engage in, ensuring they have the most pleasure.
#2 PSYCHOLOGICAL REPRIEVE
Most people fantasize about being taken care of. Shedding all of the emotional, psychological, and external baggage that comes with growing up. We have high-stress jobs, children, spouses, and internal pressures that build to a crescendo. Being a submissive in a BDSM relationship allows high-powered men to get that reprieve. They can follow any and all directions, knowing their Dom loves, respects, and ultimately, knows them almost as well as they know themselves. In the home, outside of the bedroom, these high-ranking men can share all of the trials and tribulations that come with their positions and in the bedroom, completely let go. They can let go of all the fear, doubt, and stress that is being thrown at them and follow the reins attached to their collar.
#3 TRUST
The BDSM lifestyle is all about trust. In order to push someone to their sexual and mental limits, trust must be iron-clad. At the level of a CEO, trust may, at times, be in short supply. While the leader of a company may endeavor to hire/be around only the most trustworthy, this is variable. When this man reaches home, he needs a person he can confide in and trust with his deepest needs. He may need someone he can be vulnerable with, without fear of judgment, emasculation, or the need to be uber-competent.
#4 SEXUAL LIBERATION
As people gain power, this often comes with sexual liberation. Men are allowed to indulge their fantasies of masochism, i.e. being submissive, while women can satisfy their desires of sadism, i.e. being dominant. The more power they have the more they can engage in behavior that goes against society’s gender norms. Men are expected to be dominant and give orders while women are expected to be submissive and take orders. A CEO spends his day being dominant and supporting his company’s success or being held accountable for its failure. With more power, he is able to truly be who he is and go after what he truly desires sexually.
#5 ADRENALINE
Some men who enjoy sexual submission say it is thrill-seeking behavior. Not knowing what’s going to happen combined with letting someone control their body allows them to remain in a constant state of anticipation. When tied up, these men said the panic associated with not being able to escape, making someone else happy, and doing what the other likes whether they want to or not escalates their arousal. Like watching a particularly suspenseful movie, the thrill of not knowing what lies around the next corner keeps these men coming back for more. Having to do none of the planning, as they do in their daily lives, they can enjoy the scenarios their trusted partner comes up with.
#6 FEELING WANTED
Oftentimes, having things done to them vs doing things to others provides high-powered men that feeling of being wanted. He is wanted so much his partner has spent a significant amount of time planning and fantasizing about what he/she will do to him. Not only has his partner thought through their sexual play but his partner wants the CEO so much he/she will use him in the exact way he/she desires. This domination may convince the CEO of his partner’s desire because the sheer number of fantasies made into a reality show him how much and how detailed his partner fantasizes about him.
#7 SUBSPACE
In mathematics, subspace is a space completely contained within another space. In the BDSM lifestyle, subspace is a special connection between a dominant and submissive that mirrors the mathematical definition. Subspace involves the complete immersion of a submissive into a sexual scene– emotionally, physically, and mentally. In subspace, the submissive may go into a completely different place, into a trance, and become unaware of what is happening around them. This is a very pleasurable space that is prompted by intense stimulation and complete trust in the dominant. The high-powered man may be unable to control his actions or even say his safe word, so the dominant must carefully monitor him to ensure his safety. A skilled and trusted dominant is of the utmost importance when dealing with subspaces.
For a man who is in control during most of his day, the ability to float into a place of stimulation, trust, and immense well-being can be intoxicating.
These are just some of the reasons CEOs and other high-ranking men may like sexual submission. When you spend your days as the chauffeur, there’s little like handing the car to someone else, sprawling in the back, closing your eyes, and enjoying the ride.
